I think the thing I miss the most about my old job was the respect and authority. I'm not saying I always have to be in charge (though it was nice), but that was probably the hardest thing to deal with after losing my job: not having anyone looking to me to make decisions. I didn't notice how much I missed it until I finally got into the swing of things at my job.

It started to get hectic in the kitchen when I was helping run food, and I wanted to step in and direct people when I saw them obviously losing focus, and needing direction. But, when I tried to step in, I realized I was the new guy, nobody was going to listen to me (assuming I even knew what I talking about), and I needed to step back and let those in charge sort it out themselves.

It was a weird feeling, both the realization that I wasn't in charge and the realization that I wasn't qualified or experienced enough for anyone to look to me either. I miss the money I was making as a manager. I also miss the familiarity of the job - being able to know what a week would be like, just by the normal tasks/duties of the day. The job was by no means easy, in fact far from it; but, having worked there for so long made it easier. The sheer amount of time I worked in that same store made my job that much easier. Now, starting over at a new job, in a new field, I realize just how much I took all that for granted. In fact, I think I miss that MORE than I miss the money I was making. I can always make more money, but experience - well, that is very hard to come by.

I know that if I want respect and authority at my new job I'll have to earn it, but I still resent the fact that I have to. I feel like I already spent a lot of time doing that, and now I just have to do it again. But, on some level I think this is my own fault. I always said I never wanted to end up working in retail as my career, and yet I stayed there for much longer than I had wanted. So, the fact that all of my experience is retail-based is of my own doing. In fact, I don't want to end up stuck in the restaurant business either. So maybe I should stop worrying so much, and just try to earn some money . . .